Grace Jones. Grace, ‘thecrazyhatwearingmaneater’ Jones. Who’d have thought I’d become a convert?! So, when my good chum Miriam told me she had a ticket going to see Grace Jones at Somerset house last night I was up for it. Mostly ‘cos I knew the company would be wicked, the setting more than picturesque and I quite like a couple of her better known tracks but, in the same breath, I would never say I was a Jones ‘fan’. 

Yeah, she has this mad persona, the build any Amazionian woman would be in awe of, and, is just slightly terrifying but fuck me, this woman was/is light years ahead of her time and more fool me for only just realising it.  After last night, I figured I had a lot more to learn about this one-woman tour de force.  Born in Jamaica to incredibly strict and religious parents (her father was a pastor), she grew up being denied any kind of creative stimulus or outlet. After moving to America aged 12, she found, as the only black girl in her class, and with a deep Jamaican accent she stuck out like a sore thumb at school. She was also branded ‘Socially sick’ on her Junior High report card. Clearly all this adversity, denial and labelling was either going to break her or spur her on. Well you know the outcome. She began to explore the world of modelling, go-go dancing and acting and the rest, as they say, is history!  Famous for her love of fur coats, crazy accessories, legs that go on-and-on, partying HARD (I ALMOST KILLED A MAN IN A TEQUILA DRINKING CONTEST IN BELGIUM. AN AMBULANCE HAD TO COME AND GET HIM. HE WAS IN HOSPITAL FOR THREE DAYS), roller skating on Quaaludes, standardly being 3hrs late and THAT temper, this woman soaked up and learnt as much as possible from her surroundings and set about, without compromise may I add, creating a self she wanted to be - flipping the script as she went. Her love affair with artist Jean Paul Goude was part and parcel of creating that unique ‘Jones’ look and she used her modelling years as the best one could get in: ‘lighting and design education’. A self proclaimed product of Europe rather than America, she escaped New York the only way befitting a self fashioned lady: hopping on a flight to Luxembourg then hitch hiking her way to Paris with nowt other than $200 in her back pocket and no knowledge of the French language. This is where her music truly began.

As I watched her last night I was struck by how truly unique she is even now, let alone the 80’s. Don’t get me wrong, ‘My Jamaican Guy’ (it should also be noted, I’m a big fan of the sample use in one of my all time fave tracks: ‘Doin’ It’ by Mr LL Cool J ) and ‘Pull up to my bumper’ have always been thumped loud in casa Milly but, I’m the first to admit, other than that I’d not really given her much listening love. I will now. This woman is a metaphorical onion – There’s so many more layers going on here than meets the eye.  The diva on stage, her insanely skimpy outfits, the bizarre headwear, the voice and her deep lyrics (apart for the ones about anal sex but you get an A+ for stunning metaphors in that one) are just one facet of this lady! If I could rock ‘simply’ a corset, some fishnet stockings, a pair of killer heals and some ridiculous headwear at the age of 60 summat, and look half as hot as she did last night, trust I’d be flashing all I could on stage. This woman has equal doses of energy and crazy stage presence with a healthy portion of in-your-face sexiness thrown in for good measure.  Yeah, that’s right I said ‘sexiness’. There’s nothing more sexy than a woman who knows what she wants and how she wants it and isn’t afraid to show it off. If you mistake strength for manliness, sexiness for sluttiness and that man-eating persona for man hating then, most likely, you’re the one who needs to go and have a good, hard look in the mirror!

Even at her age her music still pisses on a lot of the bullshit being churned out by the music factories of today. She had the crowd eating out of her hands, and yes they were predominantly gay but nonetheless she had us all transfixed and on the very tip of our tippy toes to see what she would come at us with next. There was a new outfit for each song not to be out done by it’s predecessor and it was clear she had an army of people tucked just off stage making the showbiz happen! I’ll tell you this for nothing: Sacha Fierce aint got nada on this lady. In fact, that would be something I’d pay to see: Beyonce even try to hold down a stage with this lady on it. Ms Jones would swallow her whole mid-chorus whilst cavorting on her rotating pole AND popping off for outfit changes. Yes, rotating pole I said.  Bottom line. GRACE JONES YOU’RE A BREATH OF FRESH AIR IN ALL THE BULLSHIT! Hands down. Best live gig I’ve been to in a very long time. My favourite moment? Trying to double-time my bumpa as gold glitter erupted either side of the stage, reigning down on me of course. Doesn’t take much does it?

PS.

Grace, if I may call you that, even if I had a crazy disc-like, glitter encrusted head piece fashioned like yours, I’d take it off to you.  Fancy adopting me? I’d love to see the look on any future beaus face when I broke it to them: ‘yeah come round for tea. My mum, Grace Jones, really wants to meet you.’

PPS. Here are just a few inspiring and amusing quotes for you ladies!

I’VE LOOKED THE DEVIL IN THE FACE, AND GOD, AND SOMEHOW I'VE FOUND A BALANCE. BUT BEING EXTREME IS AT THE SAME TIME A BALANCE - ONE EXTREME BALANCES THE OTHER.

I WASN'T BORN THIS WAY. ONE CREATES ONESELF. I BELIEVE WHATEVER I DREAM. WHATEVER I DREAM I WANT TO DO.

I'VE ALWAYS BEEN A REBEL. I NEVER DO THINGS THE WAY THEY'RE SUPPOSED TO BE DONE. EITHER I GO IN THE OPPOSITE DIRECTION OR I CREATE A NEW DIRECTION FOR MYSELF, REGARDLESS OF WHAT THE RULES ARE OR WHAT SOCIETY SAYS.

.I HAVE A BAD TEMPER BUT IF YOU KNOW ME WELL YOU'LL KNOW I'M JUST LETTING OFF STEAM, LIKE A BULL. I SHOULD BE LOCKED UP FOR AT LEAST A WEEK EVERY MONTH! THE OTHER NIGHT SOMETHING UPSET ME AND STEAM, I SWEAR TO GOD, STEAM WAS LITERALLY COMING OUT OF MY EARS. I THOUGHT I WAS SPONTANEOUSLY COMBUSTING. I THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO BURST INTO FLAMES - OH YES, IT WAS AT THE AIRPORT IN BUENOS AIRES.

 Go here for more

Mr P of the almighty ATG crew has just launched his website.

You should be able to see his work, what he gets up to and buy stuff. So head over HERE and bookmark it now, you know only greatness will come from this.

If you don't know who ATG are, educate yourself by watching the documentary below.

"Char-la-tan

–noun

A person who pretends to more knowledge or skill than he or she possesses; quack."

That dictionary definition could not be furthest from the truth when talking about this Charlatan.

The brain child of Micheal Trapster and all round doing it all girl, Gemma Kane. The line is exclusively for the ladies and here's what the brains behind it say about it.

"Charlatan began life early 2009, catering to the young, intelligent, outspoken, forward thinking, fashion and culture orientated girls worldwide. Girls that are doing their thing. Girls that aren’t afraid to push the boundaries.

We Charlatan’s love keeping it real, getting lean, sweatin ‘n’ dutty winding it, killer heels, being bold, picnics, road trips, London, NYC, LA, Paris, staying true to our heritage, cocktails, tattoos, Vivienne Westwood, grunge, sneakers, knuckledusters and not taking yourself too seriously."

The line will be making a debut appeareance at the "Off the radio" street wear sale to be held this sunday in West London.

Click on the flyer below to see all the info.

"Michael Jackson fans are up in arms after a ghostly apparition was caught on camera at the late star's Neverland ranch.

The image was captured whilst a camera crew filmed inside Neverland for a special edition of the Larry King Live show.

A shadowy figure can be seen crossing one of the corridors and appears to have its head tilted forward causing some to draw comparisons with Jackson's posture.

The alleged supernatural sighting is the latest in a string of bizarre Jackson rumours to sweep the internet following his death nearly two weeks ago including speculation that Jackson faked his own death and that he will be buried without his brain.

Do you think this is really the ghost of Michael Jackson? Could there be another explanation or perhaps another spectre is haunting the corridors of Neverland."

SOURCE

Single by Mr. Hudson whose album is coming this month.

And in my opinion, this is another example of Kanye West properly using Autotune. I think it sounds amazing.

Exhibit A : Loon

Former BadBoy artist, professional Ma$e impersonator, Mr hit you in the face with a shovel.

When the head of your record label is the biggest star in the company, you know you're in for a bumpy ride. But with BadBoy records, I think the bumps in the ride are of Godzilla proportions.




Lets look BadBoy artists over the years.

Ma$e, now a pastor but briefly returned to hip hop before selling double wood and then returning to embrace the Lord.

Black Rob, habitual law breaker now spending a lot of time amongst men on a government sponsored vacation.

Danity Kane, countless cat fights resulting in Diddy dis banding the group.

Da Band, not only did they have the worst hip hop group name but all members have virtually melted into obscurity with Choppa making a brief return a few months ago with his great grandfather's suit online.

G Dep, released an incredible album. Disappeared, got hooked on drugs now clean he is back working with Diddy.

Fuzz Bubble, who? I hear you ask? Rock band signed to BB who never released an album and have duly melted into obscurity.

Dream, the white all girl group, a bootleg 3LW if you wish. They too are gone, never to be heard of.

Kane, Puff's answer to Eminem. Nope, he's faded into obscurity too without as much of a single.

Shyne, dare I say BIG's replacement. He dropped one album on BB, dropped a few shells in the club one night and is also away on a government sponsored vacation.

And now ladies and gentlemen, we come to the subject at hand, Loon. Two years ago, he assaulted another Harlem rapper with a shovel whilst homeboy was getting a haircut he then dropped an album with fellow BB cadet, G Dep (Child of the Ghetto was such a great album).

And now he has seemingly turned to Islam and is "Hoping to change the lyrics and message of rap". At least he's not selling some product i.e



And wait for it...



It's not easy being a rapper any more.

I’m having a roller skating renaissance at the moment. Now when I say ‘roller skating’, I mean rocking the original 1980’s quads, doing kamikaze style street bombing. None of this 1990’s LA fashioned gentle Inline skating whilst wearing kneeandarmpads malarkey. No.

I’ve rediscovered my Roces Ventronics, with their two tone green wheels and multicoloured laces and I’ve fallen head over heels in love all over again. No man has made my heart race like these babies do in quite some while! Although I lack the leg warmers and fingerless gloves of my first affair with skating, I’m pleased to find I still have the desire to bomb it as fast as I can along sweet, sweet, smoove tarmac, scaring the shit out of any pedestrians who fail to hear/see me coming. I will say, God bless the back stop though. Not only does it make a noise like I’ve been hitting the baked beans but it also allows me to skilfully glide to a screeching halt just short of someone's face/toes.  Now, before you judge me, I would like to state that I do have a strict policy of not doing it to the old, the frail or animals (unless they run at me then they have it coming).

Any ways, I’m not a great one for activities/exercise but I swear skating is a dope summer activity. You can get from A to B at warp speed and ladies, it’s a great way to take in the view (especially on hot sunny days) and the right pair of skates automatically add a certain je ne c'est quoi to most outfits à la Roller girl. My only gripe is this: In a country with a rapidly growing obesity problem, what bright spark decided to ban skating and cycling in London Parks?!  What if I wanna grab onto the back of my mate’s bike to get up some serious speed/help me up hill? Or just catch some rays dans le skates whilst I listen to some Meth?! Not only do I feel like a fugitive hiding from the ‘Park Five-O’ (admittedly being chased by park patrols can add next level entertainment to your day) but I then have to negotiate the deliberate and maliciously placed gravel at the end of each section of the path, which if you hit having been fortunate enough to gain any kind of speed, results in you falling flat on your face, looking like a twat and picking gravel out your nose for the rest of the day!

So, forget the pit-falls of parks, I’ve now discovered there’s a London skate every Friday night! Ever been standing outside a pub on a balmy summer’s evening and wondered where they hell 70 skaters with whistles and ghetto blaster came from? Well now you know. Basically it’s free, you get to skate round London with hundreds of other skaters whilst a music bike, equipped with a pair of Celestion SR1 MK2 PA speakers, with two 12” subwoofer, follows you blasting out a wicked soundtrack.  So, pedestrians be warned, I’m going to be trying this out next Friday and I will show no mercy since I have been pushed out of public parks! If you fancy joining me on my mission to resurrect PROPER ROLLER SKATING and you wanna have a proper laugh at the same time, holla. If you don’t have any skates go cop some of the bargains on Ebay!

Amusing pictures soon come.

T&C’s:

WNL does in no way advocate illegal skating in parks, hating on the obese, not wearing protective garments when skating or think you’re a fool if you do Inlining and not PROPER SKATING.

 

In addition to her Hollywood steez, mutual friend of Milly and I, Liv L'Range also raps. And very well if I may add.

Her "Sexxx With A Rapper" album should drop soon but in the meantime, she hooked up with Camp Lo to bring serve us some "Minivan" goodness.

Check out the video below.

Many of you probably don't know that our Milly Cundall is not just a Whorington, but also one of the founding members of a rapidly expanding female collective known as, The Suffrajets.

The women are taking over and one of their first ports of call is Diesel radio, where they have manged to commandeer themselves a really dope show.

You can download and listen to Milly Mills and Goldielocks doing their Diesel radio show below.

Part One

Part Two

Remember, it's the jets, son!

Is that he is infact white, married, middle aged and lives in Oldham near Manchester in the United Kingdom.

Real talk...Watch the expose video of it HERE.

Good friends to the site, Boxfresh launch their micro site which I incidentally contribute too with this viral campaign. It's only a teaser at the moment but make sure you hit up the site for the full viral tomorrow.

Come Grime With Me from Boxfresh International on Vimeo.

Stay tuned for more stuff from Boxfresh in collaboration with yours truely.

It's one big incestuous love in here. Friends of whoringtons Boxfresh team up with even more whorish friends Turn Off The Radio with their supah-diverse and friendly night at The Victoria. GO! Plus it's in E3 where the all the best folk reside yeah?